When it's not alright

After everything that I've experienced; relationship wise, each one that has passed, I get more afraid than ever. After each, I've felt more foolish than before. & What's up with all the trust issues lately? Lately I've been thinking that not everyone could be trusted. That some people I had plenty respect for, & just one slip of the tongue; weather it was a secret or something rude, they've automatically lost that respect. I love people, I love their company, but when it comes to my worst, my stubbornness shows, & I refuse to spill at that current moment of my zdxfcgvhjbk times. Afterwards, I'm fine, & i guess I'm fine with talking about what was wrong.

You know, another thing is that after everything; I hold back now. I'm afraid of everything, because I always think negatively, and I also think that every compliment must be a lie. Plus; i'm just disappointed in myself. Even though the past is the past; It's still irritating having it pop into your head once in a while.

Another thing; I hate how you think you know a person, but they're either too good to be true & it just freaks you out, or they're sweet & friendly, but unfortunately they give every girl that special feeling. Screw the weak, and the playaa playaa's .

I usually say there's just one . One guy. The guy that you can be yourself around most of the time, the guy thats a friend, the one that you can talk to for help, the one that isn't so rude, & well other reasons.  BUT, it doesn't even matter much. You can't approach the same person too many times, because it gets harder & harder each time. Feelings or no feelings towards me. There's only one thing that's important to me; Friendship . Situations like this are mysterious as hell; It may happen, or the crushing side- It may Never happen . But does that kill to know? No, not really, because I'm not letting myself breakdown, & the last thing for me to worry about is the opposite sex . I don't care if he reads this, & I don't care if you are either . I'm sure everyone knows, everyone makes it obvious & honestly I just don't care anymore . 

BTW UPDATES;

BSU tomorrow & friday . Oooowee 6 shows for SW Hip hop . Lets get it girl ;] & Thomas & Richie .

PLUS; Happy Early Valentines ;] Make it special yo .