Novel .

So lets see , i have about an hour to type as much as i want before practice.
I wanted to blog last night , but blogger was going through problems ? So eff . haha But anyways , the past week has been mixed with bad and good. Which is usually like that , but ohh wells right ? The weekend has been pretty tiring but in all, pretty fun .

So Friday night @ youth group , we sang Take It All , by the Hillsongs United . & Gosh , i love that song so much , and it reminds of my first year at Lake Retreat Camp . Best year ever. Everything happened so fast , but all the memories are still there , the people who has helped me are still in mind , and the people who has left me are never forgotten. This year , camp is coming around again , new theme, new counsellor, new people but also the old ones as well. I'm looking forward to it , because i miss everyone , & I need that spiritual high ASAP , so i can get back on track .

Saturday was a very good day . Allen dropped by for 1 month , & handed me roses , SLEEPY BEAR w/ a movie , Double Chocolate Milano Cookies <3 , & a cute letter ;] . Nothing made me more happier at that moment and on that day . Camille came over , we kicked it at the Y with Allen . Went through a few routines and headed home to get ready for SSF . Seattle Summer Fresh wasn't crowded , but we still had a good show . The girls danced all night and we had fun . I hate dancing with Guys , they get to touchy , but I'm glad I had my cuddy to cut in for me and save my life . HAHA . Allen may not believe this , but the whole night , i was actually constantly thinking about him , & what he was up to . I was texting him while i was dancing . HAHA people effed the party up with fights , but the meeting was fun , and relaxin at home was the best part .

Sunday, was the Seniors graduation day. Come to think of it , High school years do go by fast . Last time i checked , I met a few of the seniors when i was in 7th grade , and they were freshmens. 7th grade doesn't even seem so far ago , and watching the seniors graduate definitely makes you realize how everything happens so quickly . It's sorta scary to think about it, because here i am trying my best to complete a promise , to prove family wrong , and to prove myself wrong, but it feels like i'm getting no where . That I'll fail , and be an image as my parents. That I'll be following the wrong footsteps, and end up living paycheck to paycheck . I know i shouldn't even be thinking like that . But thats how I always feel. Feel like a disappointment , and that even though I have Careers in mind , i honestly don't have the motivation or inspiration that I'll actually be in the spot where i want to be. I'm just afraid that I'll be where I've always been , and that nothing will change. But yet , I still manage to suck it up, and act like that's never on my mind . Next year , and my last year I'm definitely trying my best . Try more than I have ever tried before . & Hopefully my perspective on myself will change.

I have so much more in mind to just type about .
So I've realized how some people can be so ignorant towards the opposite sex. How they let them control their minds , and it annoys me. It probably annoys me because I've sorta been through that , and because they don't realize how much of a fool they are being at the moment. To the girls , never let a guy replace everything you have . Never have him be your idol. Show respect for yourself , and remember that whoever has been in your life first, and has always been there , then don't forget about them just because of the opposite sex. You may think forever , but sometimes it's all a lie. Not to think negatively , but always guard your heart just in case. I hate people who loves to play games, it's dumb and pathetic , and it gets you no where. I hate people who can't be loyal to what they have. Whether its physically , or emotionally . When being in relationships, loyalty, trust & honesty are all keys to making things work. Relationships are commitments . If you can't commit , or if you can't lock yourself down from having other people cross your mind , from messing around and etc.. Then it's definitely not time for you to be in one. I can't stand liars . When i say they lose respect , I really mean they lose respect . Not all , but some. I can't stand any kind of lies . Big ones or small ones , there's really no point of hiding things. Story makers piss me off. So STFU .

I'm glad summer is around the corner . I need to get out. Downtown , Marysville , Camps , Dancing , Parties , BBQ's , Bonfires , Beaches , Friends , anywhere that isn't home, will be perfect . [well not jail and stuff ; but you know what I mean] Maybe, JUST maybe A trip to California or Chicago as well . Besides, i miss the family.

But yea , to top it all off I'm happy. In an irritated , annoyed , stressed Kind of way . I don't know if I make sense to anyone , haha but oh wells x] Just brush everything offff . Besides ; Everything in the End is fine , if not, then it's not the end.
The quote I always live by.

Random thought / Message :
hahah , i really don't need one right now .