Week of hell .

Oh yes , i got my laptop back, and it feels great. The past two weeks i've done nothing but sit at home, watch movies, dance, listen to music , and sit on my bed, just staring at the wall. Thinking. Literally . haha And i hate not having anything to do, because my thoughts wander off, and they're never happy thoughts.. Always deep, painful, irritating and what not. I hate thinking. I thought about friends, family, where am i going, money issues, dance, death, past, future, relationships, moving, school, and everything else i guess. In fact out of all the things that i just listed, relationships was the main thing that kept crossing my mind. In fact it crossed my mind so much that i couldn't sleep last night. I was so mad at everything, and i had so many things running through my head that i wanted to blog or vent to someone so badly, but i couldn't because i didn't have minutes, and i didn't have my laptop. So i wanted to draw / sketch it out instead, but the problem is, how do you draw love besides heart, or showing a girl and a boy. Or how do you draw confusion ? Besides a maze , or a puzzle. Or pain ? besides blood, knives and what not. So instead i took it old school ; i wrote it out. I wrote about what i thought about relationships. I wrote about why i hate relationships, why i love them, and then it all wrapped up to being about who i'm with, why i fell for him, and the reasons why he means a lot to me. All of this, i ended up with 3 lined papers in my hands, and that equaled up to 6 pages of my thoughts. I wrote the starting time, and the ending time. It took me two hours -_- . And then i tried to sleep afterwards, but instead i was still thinking, and i really wanted to scream. Because i have never ever spent so much time thinking about a person, or stuff like this or whatever . And it irritated me. I WANTED TO SLEEP. haha but i sucked it up around 2:30 am , and i was able to fall asleep . I had several weird dreams though.. hahah oh well :]

Random Thought / Message :
If i have no reason to stay here. Moving would be a perfect get-a-way .